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The drunk on life gypsy

The brilliant, the profane, the quick, the profound, the drunk on life gypsy in me who will bend for nothing except the stars has no place to sit at the same table as the conservative, mediocre, stereotypical, the ordinary me broken with the sheer weariness of the weight of the world and its scars pressing down on me. These two extreme creatures who inhabit me ... rarely coexist in harmony. They have nothing in common with each other ... one longing to run wild and free and the other horror struck at the very thought, my mother in me grown manifold watching the child in me ...

...except that they are incompatible room mates who must learn to give each other space while I am physically alive... each taking their turn as they please.

When the wild, free woman rules ... they admire the fact that she has still survived amidst it all. When the docile, broken, compliant woman emerges, they say ... ah, finally she is broken. She is tamed. She should have done this right from the start ...

And, yet ... there is a third woman ... rather a genderless person ... watching these two ... a creature who never judges... I don't know her as well as I do these two. But, I sense her many a time ... calm. Watchful. Nurturing.

Yes ... there is a fourth me ... watching these three ... in mindful awareness

...And, a fifth ...

And, a sixth ...

Some of them feel deeply. Some of them watch intensely. Some of them know intuitively. Some of them are clueless to the wiles of the world. Some of them are resourceful. Some of them ache in awe. These million creatures who are created as life spins around me, coming alive in response to life around me within me.

My hands are soothing my new wrinkles ... massaging my weakening eyes ... propping up a stubborn fat, a double chin ... an out of shape body running to new fat ... that is indifferent to its upkeep ... a sudden twinkle in my eyes ... a shout of sudden laughter ... i shed some age and fat ... and some baggage ... and the gypsy emerges

...The brilliant, the profane ... that is where it all started ... No?

- SS

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