All I know is this. Once you are a mother, it is almost impossible to stop being one and just be a person. Till you die. Whether you wear a crown, get acknowledged, get anything special or not in return, irrespective of bouquet or brickbat it is a way of being that you cannot undo until the very end. It simply is. A bit like breathing. The maximum you can achieve are huge pockets of distance mindfully created, a certain stoic distancing that is essential. But, this state of being will be there in the background, integral to your existence. Giving birth is a choice. Motherhood is a permanent state of being.