How to develop immense clarity in a time of chaos:
One of the most important things we need to gift ourselves is clarity. On what we need to be accountable for, what our real standards are, what we promise to stand by, and what we should absolutely refuse to allow and what it means to be compassionate to someone and where to draw the line or call someone out when they cross. It is easy in these chaotic times to feel guilty for saying No when it is the right thing to do, to say yes without feeling guilty for something that gives us joy, to call someone one out for terrible behavior or even the freedom to walk away from a situation, career, relationship that holds no meaning anymore. It is easy in these troubled times to get confused on what to stay firm about and where we should be flexible and how to differentiate the two. In these troubled times, we would rather not upset someone, groups, relationships, careers than take a clear stand. We would rather keep up appearances than face the truth. We have a huge fear to take a stand and feel unsure about the price we have to pay.
We would rather blend.
Is that wisdom or it that cowardice?
How to understand where the boundaries lie?
We are obligated through compassion to stand by anyone battling fear and insecurity, decisions, disease, career, finance or pain. It is a temporary state which will be made more bearable and surmountable through our solidarity, support, presence or action. It could be a perfect stranger to people we know all our life. They could be down to their last penny or breath, energy or faith. It does not matter. We should be there in any and every manner we can to see them through as long as it takes. This is what it means to stand by someone through their good and bad. As fellow beings, this is called 'lifting the other up'. It means to lend a hand until the other feels empowered to operate with their own strength. This is an acknowledgment of our own humanness and the humanness of another. We are not perfect beings and as long as we are open to introspection, genuine about our repentance and put in efforts to move forward, we deserve another's compassion and should offer ours if they are deserving. If a particular situation makes someone act in an unsuitable manner ( within limits) and the person is able to see and repent their behavior and accepts complete accountability, they are deserving of our support and compassion as long as their actions thereon reflect their professed accountability. We are obligated through our compassion and love to raise a child, be kind to the old, support those who are not in a position to completely take charge of their life even if the period of our compassion may need to be longer. We have to say Yes to life's beauty in all its forms. Choosing how to stand by someone, how much and for how long and at what price to oneself is a matter of individual choice and right. But, it is a voluntary act of compassion, love, choice and generosity that makes us do this.
We are NOT OBLIGATED to stand by silently seeing anyone intentionally be unethical, violent, angry, rude or demeaning, rape or molest, steal or kill, being crude, barbaric, biased, bigot, racist, patriarchal or plain assholes, who act in any manner they please and expect the world to deal with their shit and what they subject others to. We are not obligated to stand by people who treat us poorly, who abuse our kindness, who disrespect our value or who physically and mentally abuse us to exercise their power or ego. We are not obligated to continue to put ourselves as victims of abuse, feeling threatened and reduced and in a state of panic.We do not do anyone a favour by being silent, by putting up with it, by becoming a victim of any person's ugliness, mental, physical, sexual or financial power. By asking someone to adjust, someone to put up with it is paramount to killing them, their soul or their spirit. To stay and live through such situations silently bearing it, is not about standing through the good and bad. The sanest and most rightful thing to do is to remove ourselves from such toxic environments, people, situations, careers, partners, relationships, friendships, cultures, religions, groups. We need to call out ugliness wherever we find it - online, offline, in our families, friends circles, work places ...anywhere. When people make intentional choices to rape, molest, kill, shout, hit, be bigots, the world should treat them as rapists, molesters, killers, angry abusers, bigots. We have to refuse to be party to it directly or directly. We have to say NO. Choosing when, how, what and how much someone will put up with in silence before they walk away, speak up or act is a matter of individual choice. But, somewhere it has to start.
The world does not get better by defending ugliness, rationalizing violence, adjusting to cruelty, ignoring rape and crimes, and pretending, hoping and believing that things are and will be okay. The world only gets better when we make it better. The world only gets better when the voice of ugliness is made feeble because the voice of good speaks stronger and in solidarity. It is not enough to keep talking about the ugliness of the world. It is how we talk about all that is ugly that has to change. It is how we talk about the good that has to change. When the good has the audacity and the power which evil speaks with, is when the world will change.
It is time we stopped adjusting. It is time to operate with absolute clarity. It is time to stand by truth, beauty, courage and real effort. We owe ourselves that. It is time to call the ugliness out, walk away and kill its power in our lives. We do not owe it even a second thought. This is called moving on to light. Every single one of us, so the world becomes a better place.
This is to be morally spiritual.
- Srividya Srinivasan
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