Families are places you are born into. Sometimes, you marry into. In both, you may have partial or no choice except luck in being surrounded by love, solidarity, support or value you deserve.

And, then there are places, people, energies that you love, which love you, where your energies, who you are is treasured, valued. Where your presence or absence makes a difference. And, you have this warm glow within that feels so beautiful. Without a need to stay in touch or pick up threads kind of spaces. You could stay in situations and with energies where you continously need to explain who you are and there are places and people you never need to. You are loved, held. And, you would do the same, unasked.

There is no perfect name or word for such places, people and energies. I don't think tribe quite covers it.

I am incredibly lucky to have quite a few places, people and energies where I am richly loved, valued and celebrated. Places that I feel so much at home. Where one feels seen, heard and felt. As much as the ache in not receiving such energies and love for the bulk of my critical life moments from those one should have received it naturally from, it is these beautiful 'other' places, worlds and 'families' that makes mine such a rich, rich life. Where the ache of not having received support, love or solidarity from places that you should have seems diminished in its power by the sheer number of places, people and energies that so truly love you.

It has been an immensely rich life by these other places and people. All one has is this glad glow, a big grin and the increasing urge as the years run out to show up more and more where one is welcomed and celebrated in a special way and less where one is hardly missed or treated indifferently, where you are not special.

It boils down to this. What would you rather do with the time left ? Go where you are treasured or keep going to places where they see nothing much in you as treasure. Go where love flows easy and generous or where they are sparing with their love and pouring it out in spoonfuls ? Show up where your kind of light and love is so valued or where you are made to feel as hard to love?

My system rejects breadcrumbers in love now with a clarity and utterness that I wish I had earlier. But then, this is the journey. Growing beyond the naive thought that if one offered love long enough and hard enough and gave it easy, it would help create a beautiful space where one received it too. And, the true learning is that to receive and to give well, to pour and to be poured to ... You cannot be a generous one amidst breadcrumbers. It simply won't be the same. You need to be around those generous like you. Who make love seem easy and difficult situations just part of life's journey instead of places where they make love seem harder in an already hard life.

So, go among spaces, places, people, energies ... Where they get you without you needing to tell all your stories. Avoid places that will never hear you even if you tell your story many times over. They are simply not your people, place or energy. Lend them grace, but move them out of your life, time, energies.

Time is too short. Gift your presence, energies and love only where it is valued. Celebrated. And, treasured. And, allow in only those you do too.

Declutter.

- SS